![]() The movie did not get made, but thanks to Conan’s podcast, it will (kinda) see the light of day!Ĭonan, Smigel, Nealon, and Carvey will be reading passages from the unproduced script on Conan’s podcast. In addition to being a musical, it was to include Schwarzenegger as a main cast member, playing himself. It was set to be called Hanz and Franz: The Girlie Man Dilemma. The characters were immensely popular, and we almost lived in a world where they got their own movie!ĭana and Kevin enlisted SNL writers Robert Smigel and Conan O’Brien to write a Hanz and Franz movie in the early ’90s. Their ridiculous fake muscles, arrogant attitudes, and silly catchphrases are a perfect blend of what makes an SNL character great. They were modeled after Commando star Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hanz and Franz were two obnoxious bodybuilders. ![]() Together? Nealon and Carvey were unstoppable as Hanz and Franz. Nealon is still my favorite “Weekend Update” host, and his dry delivery is the only thing that saves the mean Chippendale’s sketch. I was an altar boy, forced to give up an hour every Saturday afternoon to make sure I didn’t go to hell. Also shining bright in that era were Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey. I fell in love with Jan Hooks, Phil Hartman, Nora Dunn, and Jon Lovitz. ![]() The reruns I watched most afternoons were from the late ’80s and early ’90s. I enjoyed that cast, but my tastes skewed older. The cast on TV at the time included the likes of Will Ferrel, Molly Shannon, Chris Kattan ( just crushing it), and Cheri Oteri. I was lucky enough to be coming of age when Comedy Central would run SNL reruns for most of the day. For many, that meant being allowed to stay up late or sneaking to the TV while their parents were asleep. But now, hear this: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.They say that your favorite SNL cast is the one you grew up with. You’ve given us something to hear now, and something to think about later.Īrnold: Ya. Listen to me now, and beleive me later: it doesn’t matter how much you pump up those muscles, as long as you reach the full pumptential. But don’t be downing yourself too much now. You know, you could very easily flick us with your ltitlest finger, and send us flying across the room until we landed in our own baby poop.Īrnold: I know. And not even the grown-up kind, the little baby losers. And believe me- What’s the matter?įranz: It’s no use, Arnold. You huys are lucky you don’t have a campfire here in the background. Oh, come on, you make me sick! And look at those legs, they look like little skinny sticks! And those buttocks. Like this That’s the way to do it! Look at you guys, how pitiful losers you are! You know something? I hate the way you guys talk! What’s the matter with you? I mean, I sent you over here from Austria, to become real hard-core terminators, and look what you are – little termites! I wanted you to become real running men but you are girly-men. Hans: Hey, Arnold, look at this! įranz: Ya! Lok at this! Īrnold: Oh, you guys make me sick. Hans: Oh, Arnold, I can’t believe how properly pumped up you really are!įranz: Ya! You are the embodiment of perfect pumpitude!Īrnold: No, no, no. Hans: I don’t believe this! Oh no, I can’t believe it! Schwarzenegger took the SNL parody in good stride and made several appearances with Hans and Franz, including a season 17 visit to open episode 7. The sketch made its debut in the first episode of Season 13. Nealon was watching an interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger on Showtime and invited Carvey, with whom he was on a comedy tour, over to watch. ![]() The idea for the original Hans and Franz SNL sketch was spawned in 1987 in a Des Moines hotel room. ![]()
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